Throwing myself out there

So, recently I moved back to the city,where I currently reside at my brother’s; sucking on the family tit. And while I didn’t picture myself ever being 24 and homeless, needing to live with my brother and his two kids, it hasn’t all been bad.
Getting back to the city has somewhat revived me, giving life to the death – not in the zombie-way, but in the “I feel reborn” way. Here, it seems like there’s possibilities and opportunities at everything, at every corner. I’ve already been to countless literary events, gotten a job and seen friends who I’ve been away from in a long time.

But more importantly, I’ve gotten hopeful again. Here in the city I know that there’s a bigger chance at meeting eligible bachelors and possible suitors to go on a date with.

So when my friend called me the other night and asked me if I’d wanted to escort him to an intro-night set up by a gay organization, I found myself agreeing, even though I was tired from work, had to be at work at 7 AM the next day AND knowing that a jerk I’d hooked up with during the summer, would be there.

Unfortunately the night started of badly. It turned out my friend knew half of the party already. Normally this would have been a good thing, but he failed to introduce the people to me and vice versa. On top of that the conversation they had quickly turned into things I couldn’t talk about, if I was lucky enough to even be able to hear any of it. So I ended up just standing there.

When I thought we were ready to leave, my friend approached a guy he’d chatted with online and started talking to him. The dude didn’t find it appropriate to shake hands and acknowledge my existence. I know how these things work and if I had a chance I’d make eye contact with him or something, but he was fixed at my friend.


To top it off, the previously mentioned summer jerk ended up finding me even though I successfully had played hide and seek the whole night. Alas, I couldn’t escape his gaze while I was third-wheeling and the jerk managed to tap my shoulder and we chatted shortly. After this mess of a night, I went complete teenager and called my friend from the restroom and complained about my evening. I ended up yanking myself up to find my friend, pick up my jacket and leave. As I did so, I saw he was on his way out with the guy he’d approached. I was sure they were on their way out to exchange saliva, but turned out they were going to buy cigarettes. In the fresh air my status as Casper the friendly ghost seemed to be no more and we were all three able to conversate.

In the end, I ended up having a nice evening and a nice long conversation with the guy, who I found out just got accepted to a very exclusive writer’s school (which I of course envied – a lot). It all ended up giving me the courage and need to get myself out there and meet new people.

I’m ready for new adventures…


My Sucky 2012: A Status

So here on the last day of the first month in the new year, I thought it would be a good idea to look back and reminisce on the year that has passed.

I’m not really sure why people do this. It’s suppose to be healthy – or so I’ve heard, so I will give it a swing. Here goes nothing.

  • Dated 3 men: none of them ending in anything serious besides serious frustration. I will sum the three boys (not men) up with these words: job snob, flaky dude and high-horse twink.
  • The unfortunate year where I – through an ios update – found my ex as a contact on my phone, with a link to his twitter. I only visited once (promise!). Thanks, fucking Apple. I’m sure someone over there in California is laughing his ass off.
  • I went to the cinema alone for the first time in a very long time and survived without getting petty glances and popcorn thrown at me.
  • Experienced and participated in a drunken rave inside a train.
  • Began studying my elective course, where I found a few new and close friends.
  • I embarked on my biggest travel of my dreams to the city that never sleeps; NYC (which I’ll post much more about another time).


  • While I was downing beers and enjoying life in NYC I was completely unaware of the fact that when I would get home, I would get a call from my best friend telling me that 2013 will be the year when I can add the title godfather to my name since she was preggers.
  • Cried several timer over how stressed I was over my exams and how little I understood.
  • Texted with a guy I’ve dated who isn’t single anymore.
  • Got myself and my friends kicked out of a bar on the campus where my friend lives and held a birthday party, after I pissed in a bucket, completely hammered.
  • Went on a study trip with my classmates to Helsinki, Finland.

So thank you 2012. You’ve been a bittersweet bitch with lots of ups and downs.

I’m excited to see what 2013 has in store for me.

Yours truly,

– Mr. A.

Watch It!

So, I just stumbled upon this great little web series called “The Outs”. The amazing thing about the show is that it’s completely funded by funds and director/writer of the show Adam Goldman. The fact that the show isn’t produced by a giant network actually works to it’s advantage as it gives it an authenticity which I don’t think I’ve seen before on a show. The dialogue is funny, the actors are good and the overall feel of the show is really nice. Not only that, but the show features some very nice fellas, which I must say doesn’t hurt in any way. In addition to this, the show is filmed in Brooklyn which is one of my favourite places of NY.

In the show we follow two recently exes and their experiences and coping with the break-up. Oh yeah, did I mention? It’s two gay men.. It is exactly what I’ve been missing. I find it refreshing that this isn’t some coming-of-age movie/show/book, but actually portrays real gay life, which is something I’ve truly missed.

So, people.. Do yourself a favour and watch it. It’s only 5 episodes but I promise that it’ll be worth your time.

The Outs

Oh, and ps. the soundtrack is wicked!

Hard Knock Single Life

Okay, all my fellow singletons – let’s cut to the chase:
Being single is neither particularly fun, easy or rewarding.
There, I said it..

The shit that we have to endure and go through is terrible.

Being single is a hard knock life. And I’m not talking the hard-knock Jay-Z style where you pretend to be modest, going around in your old hood and giving your mates hi5’s and then returning to your mansion and sipping Cristal. No! I mean real, brutal, Annie-hard-working-fight-for-it-and-stay-thick-skinned style of hard knock life.

We go through good lengths to find what may seem like a proper date. We are exposed to blind dates, online dating, speed dating, friends’ matchmaking-skills (’cause they just know this incredible guy who’s single and handsome and is just right for you. Well why the hell is he still single then?) just to name a few.
When we finally have a date on the hook, we need to go through the exhausting preparations (which sometimes even goes wrong – right?): getting ourselves ready (there’s often a lot of work to this), finding an outfit that will be perfect for the date but doesn’t look like we’re trying to hard but still makes us look nice (which the date probably won’t even notice or mention).

Furthermore there’s the stress of how the date is going to turn out:

  •  Is he a weirdo? (please don’t let him be yet another weirdo)

  • Do we have the same humour? 

  • Is he a sleaze-bag disguised as a good guy? (You know, the guy that tries to act all good when he’s in your company but really is a jerk)

All this is enough to give you a headache for sure. Still, we single people never really get any credit for all of the shit we go through. 

So, to all my single people out there – this one is for YOU!
Because I know what you all are going through – up’s and down’s – and it sure ain’t easy.

Yours truly,

Fishing For The Big One

Dating is a fishy business if you ask me.

When you suddenly decide that you’re done with playing around and you find yourself in a place and time where it is time to go on the hunt and find a more meaningful relationship, you prep yourself for the crazy world that is dating.

  1.  You take the box named “confidence” down from the shelf and dust if off.
  2.  You swap it with the box labeled “cynicism” which has served you good in building a wall that prevents you from being hurt by other people and/or served you as a tool when having to be the “funny single friend” among all your other friends who are oh-so-happy in their relationships.
  3. You throw the hook with the attached bait out in the water and wait for a fish to catch the bait and hang on.

Now, more often then not, nothing will latch on – perhaps maybe an old boot. Some fish will just swim by or you might even catch a little one which won’t really be worth your time since it will barely do the job of keeping you full. The thing with these small fish is that they can easily escape the hook and move on – and we don’t want that, right?
While some may have the opinion that a small fish is better than no fish, I would have to disagree. I would rather sit in my boat alone, until the big one gets on my hook. If one doesn’t, I will pack my thing and get home before it gets dark (cause a single guy has to take care of himself when no one else will, as we all know) and sleep alone in my bed.

Even though I might not have been lucky in my fishing that day, I will sure as hell wake up the next day and get out there and fish again. Sure, there will come days where it is exhausting and tiresome and you feel like giving up. But if you do so, no one will catch that bait.
In this way, dating is a lot like playing the lottery: sometimes you may win small, other times you will loose and go home disappointed, but if you never gamble, you never win either. It is the hope that maybe this time, we’ll win the big one, that makes up keep buying a ticket – no?

We all know that there’s plenty of fish in the sea. So, to all the single people out there – don’t give up! Keep fishing, all of you. The hard labour, time and preparation spent will pay off one day.

And don’t we all want that big smile on our lips, that only the catch of a big fish can cause?

 Happy fishing everyone.

Yours truly,